I want to live in fire

I felt compelled to write this after someone asked me in reply to this post how the Apocalyptica concert on the 31st May in Bucharest turned out. Then Mihai’s review through his music reminded me I wanted to write about the concert. And here is the tale from A to Z, the way I experienced it and maybe the way it was meant to be.

On arriving at the Arenele Romane at 19.34, 4 minutes after the concert was supposed to start, I learned an important lesson: NEVER arrive at a concert on time. It’s the same as with parties: the sooner you get there, the less fun you have. The opening of the concert was done by two Romanian bands of uncertain descent; the first one was Bucium I think, and as far as I remember played a sort of Phoenix-copycat music. The second sounded like Nightwish reloaded, with a wannabe Tarja shouting in a high-and-false-soprano-voice into the microphones that were configured for the four cellos. I prayed them out…

The concert itself left nothing to be desired (but to live in the fire they played… :-)). The Roman Arenas were well filled up by the time the Finns showed up, all dressed in leather and carrying their world-famous cellos. The intro was given by “Path” of course, an earlier melody from their Metallica reinterpretations, the ones which originally made the four classic music students famous. For the most part of the concert they played tracks from their newest album, “Amplified: a Decade of Reinventing the Cello.” The interesting part (especially for those who have not listened to more than The Cult and Inquisition albums) was the drums. What surprised us that night was the way a live rock concert with bass replaced by cello and accompanied by drums could tear our senses apart and put them back together like Apocalyptica did. I breathed in the energy as I let myself carried away on metallic tunes on classical instruments – excellently played and amazingly rock.

I want to live in fire

with all the taste I desire

it's all good if you let me dive

with some sharks on the ground

you lose your routine

you lose your routine

cause I found my path

(Apocalyptica, Path 2)

You pulled my sleeves around my heart

A short note about courtesy – since everyone is already discussing the Reader’s Digest’s Global Courtesy Test. There is more to courtesy than just a nice carton PR smile and trying to seem nice when all other gestures say something else. The essence of courtesy is being at peace with the others and appreciating them for what they are: persons (this is to say I love my team ;))

PS: Come to Sibiu – my hometown - sometime; I think you’ll note the level of courtesy of the people there to be above the one in New York… ;-)

Because you're gorgeous
I'd do anything for you
Because you're gorgeous
I know you'll get me through
(Babybird, You're Gorgeous)

Transit

… and so I’m back after a “short” break, which lasted just about long enough as to think about the new topic focus of the blog (some people told me it was rather on the literary side of the matter and that perhaps I should consider wrapping things up – or start publishing in some freaks’ magazine :)).

In the mean time, some new developments took place at work, my team is approaching an important deadline, everyone is tired out and stressed, but the team mood is just as good as it gets and we are really enjoying the project and the constant challenges (about 2-3/day, and if you consider that each has implications in further parts of the project plan, which needs to be modified accordingly, you might grasp the fun of the situation).

Today I will write about a topic that is dear to me: transit. It all started with asking myself what people think about when commuting from one place to the other – be it on bus, car, or by climbing stairs. Most think about nothing probably, they either put one leg in front of the other and mechanically reach the top of stairs, or just look out of the vehicle window and sing themselves some little song while the landscape changes. Some might think about what awaits them when they reach destination, or about the current issues that bother them. But generally, this moving is just some time to waste Is this transit? Is this what we do when moving from one phase to another in our lives, too? Just mindlessly taking on the change and only wondering about it when it is too late… ?

There’s a famous quote saying “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. ” (John Lennon). I can’t help wondering that planning might not be the solution to achieve success… and be happy.

Sing woman, sing for the year
Sing for the love, sing for the tears
Sing woman, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

(Aerosmith, Dream On)

The innocent can never last

Does romantic involvement make you less competitive in your professional life? What is more important – to be happy and spend more time with your loved one(s) or lead a thriving professional life, in which leisure time is scarce and working hours are long? The choice might sound easy for some of us yuppies, but the question remains and it is being answered by different people in different ways…

It might be an overstatement to say that presently the Romanian society is in a development phase - it has been said so many times before. This means that personal success is measured in the money being made, the number of home appliances present in the (but of course…) modernly decorated flat and the brand of the car stationed in front of the house (“c’mon, still a Ford man?… bah, I just got a jeepie…”). It’s difficult to hold on to a romantic relationship with a “Make more money” mindset. What I mean here transcends the need for financial stability – it is the point where you start indulging in the “More is good” thought, where you forget how to stop and start neglecting everything and everyone around you because you get so tied up in your daily to do’s, that you quit understanding any of what is going on around you…

Trying to separate the work life from the personal life is indeed difficult. The two interconnect and mingle in a way that would not have been thought possible only some years ago. I think the worst part about this is that you come to set the value scale wrong – by using the professional benchmark to measure your personal success.

Soon, I will change the focus of this blog. Professional vs personal life is indeed a captivating topic, but I might be in the wrong by overstressing it the way I have been, lately...

It was a long sad supper without you
I had to be cruel to be kind
We have to leave the past behind
La la la
And isn't it strange how people can change
And isn't it weird how people I feared
They all seem worthless now
(The Cranberries, Sorry Son)

The coming of age

We live in our own little castles by the sea or in the mountains – close to our dreams, nourishing them and painting them time and time again with our beautiful colours, growing them big and fluffy, like home pets or fairies kept in golden cages. We indulge in thinking they only belong to us and only are there to light our way from one breath of darkness to another.

What about the fulfillment of those dreams? What about that church photography session planned for years, what about that long-forgotten visit to meaningful professors, what about that book meant to be read for years and postponed for so long…? More than our daily (and successful) office life and dearly beloved laptops, broadband Internet connections and mobile phones (oh my mobile phones… what would I be without you…), eating in fancy restaurants and daily information exchange to mostly intelligent and understanding people, it is the hope that sometime we will fulfill all those wishes we kept so well-hidden inside us that raises our look past our day’s multitasking.

I’ve been coming of age lately… since I have started to dare enter some of my dreams and not only grow them (and myself) old.

Let me take you on a trip
Around the world and back
And you won't have to move
You just sit still
Now let your mind do the walking
And let my body do the talking
Let me show you the world in my eyes
(Depeche Mode, World in My Eyes)

Snowblind

Just an addition to what I wrote yesterday about listening more to others: admitting that one is wrong and saying sorry the right way (so that the other one really feels the repentance) is something few people can do (or at least few people I met). More than that, it is important to understand what has upset the other and try not to repeat it again.

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line.
(Johnny Cash, I Walk the Line)

I have learned by now - there never is an easy way

To think that people are essentially bad or good, just because you keep seeing them every day in the same circumstances, is a form of self-centered thinking (aka solipsism) which is widely spread in today’s offices. We never listen to what others have to say and indulge ourselves in some kind of impression that all we see, think and feel must be correct. Alignment with others happens without control, and it is often found that such alignment comes much too late to do anything.

There comes a moment for each of us when we realize that without the ones around us we are nothing, that life cannot be lead in a “splendid isolation” in which decisions are being taken without understanding the needs of the ones around us, as well, a point in which not one conversation is fruitless and not one interaction with people lacks meaning.

“It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.” (Anne Frank, Diary)

This morning I got reminded of the song Never an easy way, by Morcheeba.

I think I slip the net,
But I cut myself free,
I'm not losing yet,
So don't forget me.