Environmental experiences

Has it ever happened to you to have things occur which you did not expect and did not particularly like, either? Although we are a generation which demands to be in control and has the illusion of being able to do it, we are so weak and lousy at finding a thread. Many of us live for the moment, with little thought as to what future may bring. And when we find ourselves in the future, we have no idea what to do with it.

We write about ourselves and our experiences in blogs and listen to music which, we think, mirrors ourselves. We ride high up on our corporate horses and switch between jobs as if we were at the stock exchange and needed to buy ourselves more and more shares of life... when in fact all we need to do is dip in it as deeply as possible and forget to live for ourselves, living for the others instead. There is so much suffering and so much emotion hidden in each of us, that we forget the very same thing happens to the near and the dear ones... and thus the sadness goes on under the layer of apparent happiness.

A line in a film I've recently seen said: "You always die alone". I think you die when the other people in yourself miss the chance of being there with you.

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
and crush it till the petals fall...
(Michael Buble, You always hurt the one you love)

Times of your life

Outside it's raining cats and dogs and I am waiting for my friend to arrive. I only see her once a year (she lives in Germany) and we always create unique moments when she's here. In some way, my life is sized up between her two arrivals. It's funny, cutting slices of life between moments :) and having those wonderful, wonderful times of talking, getting up to date with our lives, getting drunk, going to bed at 4 in the morning, dancing and feeling sunny like a summer's day.

Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
(Schnappi, Das kleine Krokodil)

Milk rice and some tango

This evening I went for a bicycle ride through town. Just cruising through some familiar places, I got to the Opera. They were having an open air concert and I listened in, although I was never a fan. Later on I bought some milk and made me a huge portion of milk rice - yummy! - among the few things that I never burned :)) The whole ride was very refreshing, although we had over 30 degrees Celsius in Bucharest this evening.

I have made good use of a friend's advice and separated issues to think about, tried to close too long lines of thoughts. I'm keeping it simple and plain for now, I wonder how that will work out (as opposed to complicated, risky and brain-smashing).

Descubrimos vos y yo
en el triste carnaval
una musica brutal
melodias de dolor
(Gotan Project, Una Musica Brutal)

Love is... when I shave my legs for you

Great point in this blog posting from Andressa (RO): She shaved her legs for you! :-)

On returning... this world is still turning

Suppose you had three wishes – things you would change about your past – what would you choose? Would you choose to change something in yourself, or to change it in others? Would you change circumstances in which things happened? Would you change the setting of your birth or would you tell that special someone how much you cared?

Or would you just choose not to choose, and live your life in the liberty it has without having to change all those choices you (or somebody else) already made? It is quite easy yo live life that way, just take what is given and never strive to find answers on how to get more than that. As a friend once told me, one has to concentrate on what is really important, and direct all efforts for change onto those areas. Sad as it is, the past needs to be made peace with, as only dreams can change it, and they don't really pay the rent ;)

I found this while browsing last night. Really nice and open to enrichment :-)

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am
(Gloria Gaynor, I Am What I Am)

Just a casual, easy thing

This morning I am leaving for here:

and I am hoping to feel like this again:

Wait

Who's that guy just hangin' at your pad

He's lookin' kinda bummed

You broke up that's too bad

I guess it's fair if he always pays the rent

And he doesn't get bent about

Sleeping on the couch when I'm there
'Cos I like you...

(Dandy Warhols, Bohemian like you)

Is there freedom in the absence of a choice?

Tonight we were all free: with music (Noe: send my regards to Danny Filth :) I'll be there for the Dandy Warhols on Saturday), travelling (girls, you know I don't miss Germany at all but hope that you will like it) and movie (I loved "California Dreamin" by Romanian director Cristian Nemescu... although it was cold, we had the best time ever laughing in our deck chairs at E Uranus, drinking beer and witnessing a live tale of our very own country :)) ).

Plus: I got a tent and a serious intent to use it ;)

Stelele care cad / The stars which fall

Nu pier / Don't die

Stelele care cad / The stars which fall

Se duc pe un alt cer. / Just go to another sky.

(Taxi, Stelele care cad)

Can't Stop

Muse Through Veins

Via metropotam: it’s official, Muse is coming to Bucharest in October and we will be there (again) to watch and drown in the music. I already feel spoiled by the great concerts that we experience here in Romania.

Muse always gets to the inside of me. Theirs is a music of wholeness, in a way psychedelic and in another powerful. Can’t wait to hear them live!

Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive
(Muse, Starlight)

With every worthless word we get so far away

I've listened to Maroon 5's last album (It Won't Be Soon Before Long) and here is my selection of worth-listening-to tracks: Nothing Lasts Forever, Better That We Break, perhaps Won't Go Home Without You and Can't Stop. This album is somewhat different from their first one, but preserves the same electronic rock sort of music we got used to. There are some funk influences that even sound good, but my impression is that Adam's voice is not melting with the instrumental part. It assumes an existence of its own, and sometimes you ask yourself if it doesn't belong to another album. The overall feel is good, the lyrics are inspiring and more diverse than in Songs About Jane, but there still are some notes here and there which remind of either Depeche Mode, some Joy Division or She Wants Revenge. I liked the album though, it's ok to listen to while driving or while walking with the iPod.

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains
(Maroon 5, Nothing Lasts Forever)

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

Almost 7 months after I got the “leapsha” (:) Romanian expression meaning so much as passing the monkey) from Doru, I finally manage to close the circle and answer.

I have never smoked, nor did anybody manage to convince me to do it.
Riding the bicycle was my childhood’s passion. I rode up to Balea Lac, to Brasov, I rode through the whole Sibiu area… through the rain, with friends, alone, in a skirt, up a mountain… and it was great!
I am either terrible when cooking anything or I cook such exotic stuff as chicken with apple or cucumber, tomato and oranges salad. They actually taste good, but nobody wants to test ;)
When I was little I wanted to become a detective. After some failed attempts to elucidate mysteries, I gave up and concentrated on becoming an ambassador instead :).
My biggest hobby is watching movies, although I do not own a collection of them.

Et voila, I am passing the “leapsha” to Dragos.

Analysis Paralysis

Someone told me a while ago that one cannot undo what one has done wrong or hasn't done at all during their life. That all our actions have consequences that further develop into our lives, in such a way that once an error is made, it cannot ever be repaired as it is, although it can yield positive outcomes. So life can only be seen in terms of points won and points lost, in a table where you quantify plusses and minuses at the end and hope you will be on the positive.

I disagreed - then, as I do now. Life is not a contest to win points, nor is it a sad place where every move can make you lose. Life is a process in which you learn from others, teach others and enjoy what you have. You can undo what you have done wrong - with much more effort - and you can repair errors. For me, there are quite some things I want to make better; I have started yesterday.

The Wizdiz Song

Hello and welcome back to the freak show :) I know I have been gone for quite some while and have not been writing, it's just that things haven't been so great lately; I've been going through some changes - which are still happening btw - so time for writing has been scarce.

My theme song for the week is the one below, performed by Kate Nash. Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do :)

Hmm.. I can't get the link to embed it, but this is the link that will get you to the YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orACIBjHuI4

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,

and i know that i should let go, but i can't.

And everytime we fight i know it's not right,

everytime that you're upset and i smile.

i know i should forget, but i can't.

(Kate Nash, Foundations)