Killer tale with three subways

How much of a total nerd must you be to miss the right subway, take the next, have it get you to the wrong station and needing to further switch subways, get to the railway station exactly on time to miss the person you actually shouldn't be expecting and then seeing them again in the subway, on the way home? And most especially, how can you explain the entire mess without making it seem like a fable?

The things I don't plan come out as if I had planned them a long time and the things I do plan go completely amok. There must be something I'm doing right.

Show a little faith there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me
(Bruce Springsteen, Thunder Road)

Despre cum e sa te arunci in apa rece

Uneori fac lucruri traznite. Gandesc fara pic de instinct de conservare. Fac lucruri despre care imi e clar de la bun inceput ca nu duc nicaieri, ca sunt doar faze care incep si se termina fara limite. Merg inainte si ma arunc in apa, desi stiu ca ar putea sa fie putin adanca (aflu mai apoi ca e foarte rece). Sau ies afara in haine subtiri, stiind ca e frig, doar de dragul de a purta bluza “aceea” sau de a simti vantul prin par. Sau dansez prin ploaia calduta de vara dupa ce am calcat intr-o balta – la ce bun sa mai tin umbrela deasupra capului?

Poate ca nu e cea mai buna cale, poate ca asa risti ca toate consecintele negative sa ti se sparga in cap. Ma gandesc uneori ca multe din lucrurile care mi s-au intamplat in viata faceau parte dintr-un risc pe care mi-l asumasem. Stiam ca s-ar putea intampla ceva, si dincolo de nepasare sau inconstienta exista o curiozitate a senzatiei de care nu am reusit sa scap niciodata. Pana la urma, nu ne traim vietile doar anticipand finaluri. Cateodata, inveti sa dansezi dansand, si incepi sa inveti culorile pictand.

Asa ca… de ce sa imi pese ca voi pierde, daca in acelasi timp am sansa de a castiga totul? De ce sa imi para rau ca am zburat cu aripi de ceara, daca am vazut soarele atat de aproape? De ce sa nu incerc, in loc sa imi imaginez cum ar fi fost?

Dupa ultimele rapoarte venite de la cer, se pare ca avem totusi doar o viata :-)

You gotta have a dream
If you don’t have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?
(Ella Fitzgerald, Happy Talk)

Taping, measuring, evaluating

And by the way I loved the following post from Ancuta: http://nareda.blogspot.com/2008/03/you-can-always-sell-any-dream-to-me.html

Could it be that things are really that simple? That you measure out the other's life, only to see if it fits into yours. That you employ measurments of words, of coffee spoons and of looks to quantify to what extent we care. That you always take into consideration all accounts, and calculate and ellaborate - and finally reach an economically sized business decision on whether or not people fit in.

I think somebody's playing tricks on us :)

What do I fear most?

More often than never, we fear stuff will happen that will affect us. We spend loads of time thinking about all possible ways to avoid the negative consequences we derive from what will happen – at times I imagine I see the movie of evil unwinding before my eyes so vividly as if it were the reality. I think I know where it ends, and even if some of the consequences were self-assumed, accepted as being inevitable and thought of, time and time again, there is hope I conceal, hope that they can and will be avoided... As it is with an illness that repeats itself cyclically, I fear departure as if it were a personal ending – and not a temporary one, that permits recommencing on solid basis again and again. For endings are definitive after certain times. No matter how much we want to trick ourselves into believing something else, there are events and periods in our lives which end, and never can be revived again the way they were. So there you go – I fear the end.

Turn the lights on the night is too long
Keep yourself warm I'm coming home
I cannot help you, you yourself must see
Decide now on what you want to be
(A-ha, Turn the Lights Down)

I am what I try to deny

There was an exercise I once did with some friends: we each danced our life's story on a randomly chosen melody. A solemn show for some, a comedy for the other. No dancing marvels performed, just some moulding in a foreign rhyhtm. The movements were flowing naturally, with some very brisk turnarounds at some points and at times difficult to understand. In each life there were things we could only imagine - some of us danced of lost loves, others of things we had experienced together. But not one of them danced of work. None of despair or of death. It was all the wonderful things in life that they imagined when moving to the sounds, the good they could do and the hope they held. And most of them were smiling while dancing.

This weekend I re-edited the exercise, while dancing to Gotan Project's La Viguela.

aquí me tumbo a cantar
al compás de la vigüela
que al hombre que lo desvela
una pena extraordinaria
como el ave solitaria
con el cantar se consuela

Clarke, Minghella die

Two days ago, two grand masters passed into another odyssey: Arthur C Clarke and Anthony Minghella.

The first one had me amazed at all the wondrous worlds he dreamt of, the second kept me weeping while watching The English Patient.

May they be joined by fellow souls.

Faith for reasons still unknown
Like bleak house fog seems everywhere
The truth has frozen into stone
And hope lies freezing in the midnight air
Though dark our days may seem
This is a different dream
Their freedom light dont shine at all
(Chris Rea, Candles)

New soul, making every possible mistake

Song lyrics | New Soul lyrics

Sway

When you are used to being gorgeous and loved, the sudden apparition of an even more gorgeous being around you gives you wings. For you know that there is still room to go to reach perfection.

Only you have the magic technique
When we sway I go weak
(Dean Martin, Sway)

5 motive pentru care imi place sa merg la mall

Dupa ce am citit postul Ancutei despre mall, am avut o mica revelatie: mie imi place la mall! Oricare din ele... Vedeti mai jos si cateva motive pentru care weekendul sau serile la mall nu sunt asa de rele cum par.

1. E cel mai bun loc unde afli care sunt ultimele tendinte in moda. Vezi atatea exemple de prost gust, incat prin eliminare afli si cam ce se poarta.
2. Iti vin idei de afaceri si de promovare. Util mai ales daca lucrezi in marketing, evaluezi cam pe unde sa ma pui un banner nou, un gand rau concurentei ca sa obtii un nou spatiu petru magazinul tau etc.
3. Ai ce sa povestesti luni la serviciu. “Auzi draga, l-am vazut pe Vio ieri la mall. Ghici cu cine era?” Pe bune acum, de unde poti sa scoti mai multe evidente despre diverse relatii daca nu din faptul ca cei doi se duc la mall impreuna?.
4. De punctul dinainte se leaga si faptul ca Mall-ul este noul parc, odata ce te plimbi cu cineva pe acolo, e clar ca ceva se intampla. Dupa ce fac cei doi impreuna poti sa afli si in ce faza a relatiei sunt, respectiv ce statut social au. De exemplu: beau o cafea (abia s-au cunoscut), vad un film (e faza ulterioara, se face conversatie si poate se “verifica” noua achizitie), mananca la Mac (studenti probabil), se plimba prin magazine impreuna (planuri de viitor deja, el evalueaza cam cat o sa il coste) etc.
5. E mai greu sa imi conving prietenii sa “facem ceva” in weekend. Cand spui “mergem la mall”, sensul vietii se imbogateste instantaneu – la mall poti face o gramada de lucruri si de fapt nimic. Cum draga, sa mergem la terasa? Da ce facem la terasa? Hai la mall!

Viata de carton pe roti

Uitasem sa va povestesc: ieri m-am blocat in metrou. A treia oara in ultimele cateva luni. Asta dupa ce plecasem special mai devreme de acasa, ca sa fac impresie. Am ajuns in statie, unde niste sarmani stateau prinsi dupa usile metroului, alti sarmani se uitau cu jind la cei prinsi, de parca ar fi sa se afle in locul lor. Dupa vreo cinci minute de asteptare, anuntul fatidic: Va rugam sa va dati jos din vagoane, trenul este defect. Na super, imi spun, sa vezi acum invazie pe peron. Si da-i si ies oamenii din vagoane. Am mai scris despre cum arata vagoanele de metrou din Bucuresti, de zici ca mergi la Auschwitz. Ei bine, nu v-ar veni sa credeti ce puhoi de popor s-a putut revarsa pe peronul care deja era plin. Imbulzeala, coate, calcare pe picioare... tot setul.

Cum sunt o persoana optimista din fire, imi spun: Acum pleaca trenul asta de pe peron, vine urmatorul, asa ca totul va fi bine si ajung si eu la birou la timp ca sa imi salvez onoarea. Da de unde. Am mai stat douazeci de minute sa poata misca trenul si inca vreo cateva ca sa vina urmatorul tren – evident plin cu oameni stresati de faptul ca fusesera tinuti in subteran mai bine de jumatate de ora. Fericiti, dadeau telefoane.

Ce am hotarat in urma incidentului:
1 – Tre sa am grija sa nu mi se mai strice iPodul cand se blocheaza metroul. E plictisitor.
2 – In viitorul previzibil o sa incep sa merg cu bicicleta la birou.
3 – E mai bine sa plec tarziu de acasa, daca si asa intarziu.

I Know My Love

There are so many people in the world who hunger for a bit of love, that our brief afternoons and evenings together seem like an undeserved blessing. So many rich glances, few words that create worlds of understanding, those little touches filled with warmth and the intense feeling that somewhere, out there, there is a great something where we can be like in our dreams. This much love cannot be wasted, and the more you get, the more there is of it.

Perfume of the day: L'Eau par Kenzo.

One of the stories yet to be told

To follow up on a previous post: sometimes it feels good just to drift away. Questions such as “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time” are as annoying as the indications linked to one’s age. “Aha, you’re 25 already, you should think about getting married.” Right, but to whom?

Sometimes I just let myself go to the moment, and what happens is that no world crumbles if you are not there to give it a sense of direction. So as of now, I declare myself on holiday.

Girls like tea
Girls like me
Some girls like everything that they see
(Lisa Stansfield, Treat me like a woman)

One change at a time

A friend's status, some days ago: It's a mark of a very very young soul to try and fix the world.

My answer: small comment: you can change the world so that it fixes itself someday
one little change at a time ;-)
Ana-Maria: :) nice one

A fact is, after so much talk about changing the world I'd rather focus on the small things in my own live. A couple of days ago we have had a strategy creation session for a client, with a very good exercise on comparing various strategic initiatives to the point of obtaining an action plan. Great stuff for the company, food for thought for myself - for there are so many things I want to do, people I want to see, places to visit etc. But how do I determine their relative importance to my life? How can I say that one thing that I do now is more important than another, when they are all so deeply interrelated?

Perhaps I should think about what all my present actions will determine in future. Perhaps I should follow a red path that will eventually lead me to the same light I imagine at the end. Perhaps I should do the way I feel, it has always helped me. Or maybe I should get a mentor and get him make sense of my life. Or maybe, just maybe, the answer lies ahead in the road I pursue, with all the people I meet with on the road, my eyes raised to a higher purpose. And whichever that higher purpose may be, it is good and it is filled with love.

PS: I'm listening to Portuguese Jazz for the day ;-) for absence must be replaced by music.

Despre salutul cu spatele

Cateodata ma dezamagesc oamenii. Ma astept sa reactioneze cu maturitate la cate o veste, fara sa se gandeasca doar in termeni de castig sau de pierdere personala. Sa se gandeasca pe termen lung - sa inteleaga mecanismele care au stat la baza unor decizii. Poate ca o fac, insa in felul lor propriu, care bineinteles ca ramane criptic pentru mine.

Sa pierzi frumos inseamna sa reusesti sa treci de tine si sa vezi plusurile pe termen lung ale oricarei situatii - fie ea defavorabila in prezent, si chiar daca la nivel personal implicatiile sunt dureroase. Oricine poate sa intoarca spatele si sa lanseze afirmatii pe care ulterior sa le imbrace in alte si alte haine, doar pentru a le deforma sensul peiorativ initial. E nevoie de tarie si de vointa pentru a nu te lasa dus de val.

PS: De cateva zile ma simt ca pe vremuri, cand realitatea parea sa fie un vis permanent :-)

Baby it's you
You know that it's you I'm thinking of
(Smokie, Baby It's You)

Thoughts on a sunny Saturday

Maybe love is a delta between wanting and being able to get – and the least able we are to touch the object of our alleged desire, the more we strive to get it. The more we can't have, the more we long for, only rarely noticing that maybe – just assume that for a second – we wish for the lives of others, and not our own.

Dance girl dance to your tunes

I wonder what would happen if a serious corporate suit guy would walk down the corridor and see me wrapped in an orange shawl and dancing to a tune in my head. Would he just stare and tell himself that I’m nuts or would he dance along?

This is worth trying, just to see the reaction.

Ive tried so not to give in
Ive said to myself this affair never will go so well
But why should I try to resist,
when baby will I know than well
That Ive got you under my skin
(Frank Sinatra, Under My Skin)

Bloggers are friendly creatures

Now this is really amazing, just read it in the TechCrunch feed: http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/03/03/blogging-is-good-for-your-social-life-study/. The essence is that to blog is to feel more included, possibly with more friends and a lot more to comment about.

I don't disagree, however my personal experience doesn't include a significant improvement of my social experience since I am blogging. And still, I enjoy a beer with friends more than knowing they read me :))

He said: what? She said: You.

Just had a brief look at my calendar: starting with the end of March I will be out of the country for almost three weeks, which is the longest time I’ve spent away from my dear ones in a long time. Hm, guess I will need to prepare for that.

Meanwhile, I am getting more and more hold of the opportunities presence in social networks can bring. Be it LinkedIn (more business-oriented), Xing (business network, mainly German and bordering regions), Facebook (I’m new to this one, still need to check it out) or Twitter (have been enjoying some posts there in a while), they all have the same purpose: getting people to connect and interact more than ever. Just being there does not attract attention – moving about does. Lately, both LinkedIn and Facebook have added Twitter-like status editing possibilities. If you are not an uber-busy business person, you may now want to tell your network what concerns you, what you are reading, what you are thinking about. Really useful, especially if these things will get to be indexed in some manner and create trails for people who are interested in you to follow. On the other hand, this immense knowledge repository will at some point become dangerous, with lots of personal info that can be used as marketing databases or for identity fraud.

Sooner or later I have the feeling this can be big, especially with more and more people using the networks. I am still amazed some of my friends do not enter the online game that has us all entangled.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
(Mika, Happy Ending)

Deci, ce vroiam sa zic...

Mediul corporatist romanesc este toropit de standardizare. Vorbind cu un prieten mai demult, ii spuneam ca poate mergem cu totii la traininguri ca sa invatam vocabularul de lemn care sa ne permita sa ne intelegem unii cu altii. La nivel de limbaj, avem cateva formulari fara de care banuiesc ca am invata cu totii limbajul semnelor. Sau am folosi o alta formula consacrata: “N-am cuvinte”. Sau am zice “Mai gad! Intelegi ce vreau sa zic”. Sincer… nu :)

Fata ce sa mai atata tot... Ai ma. Hai, vorbim. Sunteti scumpi. Mersi draga esti o dulce. Pupici. Sarutari de maini doamnei. Ma leshi. Inteleg inteleg. Da, sunt cu tine. Te urmaresc. Am o mica nelamurire. Am nevoie de o explicatie pentru asta. Maine ie dedlain. Sa fim pe aceeasi pagina. Da-mi un fidbec. Mama ce tare. Superbeton. Marfa frate, iti spun. Tre sa mergi la hasher. Deci, da. Desteapta treaba. Ce dracu, suntem buni. Sa se chinuie si ei un pic. Misto, frate, stii ca iti ziceam eu. La valoarea ta… Vorbim. Care e relevanta? Kilu meu. Stiu ca poti mai mult de atata. Bine ca esti tu destept. Te poooop.

Later edit: S-a cancelat intalnirea?

PS: Gasiti cateva exemple faine si la Florin, aici.

Cause I don't care if I ever talk to you again.
This is not about emotion,
I don't need a reason not to care what you say,
Or what happened in the end.
This is my interpretation,
And it don't, don't make sense.
(Mika, My Interpretation)

A long time ago I got an ace of hearts

In the past few days I've been watching the series "Californication". The star of the show is David Duchovny, a female-addicted-dunno-where-to head-my life-to uninspired writer who struggles between his own fantasies and a boheme LA existence. At some point, he disappoints his 12-year daughter (again), so she tells him “You know, you can expect a lot from people. And if they consistently let you down, then the best you can tell them is Fuck you.”

This also goes for all the rest of the people who disappoint us. Consistently and knowingly.

You said that love was just a state of mind
A puzzle made of pieces you can't find
And for me you never really had the time
I was blind.
(A1, Caught in the Middle)