So I wait, and in a while I will see my true love smile

This is another post I have been given a lot of thought. It is about the people I know, about my friends and all the people I have been learning from in the past… at least 10 years. They are all very special people and form my very first life manual. And the best one, might I add.

I know somebody who has managed to overcome mountains, both in himself and in reality. A dear friend has just managed to be one of the first 20 young journalists in Germany. There are people I know who will probably become the future bank directors or governors of our National Bank. People who are studying for their MBA abroad or have already obtained it and are running successful businesses in Romania – or are running successful businesses without any MSc, MBA etc. One of my girl-friends has married in the States and is following her own path, studying and working there. I remember eating “mamaliga” with her only a few years ago. A guy with whom I used to chase bicycles in the rain is now a project manager for one of the companies I admire most in Romania. In the company I am working for, there are people who are ambitious and determined and at the same time human and willing to lend a hand when help is needed. All in all, they are people whom I have learned a lot from, people I am grateful for having in my life. It is very inspiring to think about them at times and talk to them, as they are models already now, without going through a text book or without being public persons.

Please lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside, where I hide
With my loneliness

I don't care what they say,
I won't stay in a world without love

(Vonda Shepard in a reinterpretation of the Beatles’ World Without Love)

Anger Management

People get angry, it’s normal. I mean, come on, there are lots of things that piss you off every day. It might be that I’m under Mars lately, because there really was a bunch of things to get angry about. Such as the Internet running so slow I could have painted my fingernails while downloading a text page. The taxis that didn’t arrive on time. The many cars and the noise of the street. The guys who let you sit a concert. The unnecessary vulgar displays of affection of people. The wannabe’s. The assumption that time is a gift that you can give anyone, anytime. Carelessness. Lack of sensitivity. People who do not read their e-mails. People who do read their e-mails and ask stupid questions. Blogger functioned badly. The list is long.

Anyway, today I sat thinking about the best method to handle these daily nerve situations. As “What Would Jesus Do” doesn’t really work with me and counting to ten and backwards only functions rarely, there must be some other methods, I thought. Below is the result of my anger management reflections.

1. One I have been practicing for quite a long time was to let the anger go through me and cool myself down before reacting. This one is dangerous for health, I hear.
2. Shouting and bumping things till people understand you’re nervous and avoid you is also an option. This one is quite damaging for social health and should be avoided.
3. My favourite (of Japanese inspiration) is cracking stuff on the floor. My mother used hard things (such as an ancient radio), so after throwing it repeatedly on the floor, it would be functional again. I must admit I’ve only tried this one with pillows and toy animals, it isn’t that effective.
4. Biting off fingernails is also worth trying, the damage can be little if the fingernails are covered with nail color. The nastier it tastes, the better.
5. Making love is rumored to be often tried by certain water signs and might result in damage afterwards (it is also rumored they can be sadist at times).
6. Scratching cars, cutting their tyres, drawing on them with sprays is also acceptable, although in decent limits.
7. Singing in a karaoke is also good, lets you breathe in some energy, and you can even imitate some death metal band without being marked as Satanic or whatever.
8. Taking up tae-bo or aerobics might also help cool off.

And guess what :) I’m almost fine now.

I'm hot, and when I'm not
I'm cold as ice
Get out of my way
Just step aside
Or pay the price
What I want I take
What I don't I break
And I don't want you
With a flick of my knife
I can change your life
(AC/DC, Problem Child)

The Road to Hell

There was a concert on Tuesday and I went with some of my colleagues from work. What I liked most was a more difficult piece by a French composer, which resembled Beethoven in terms of energy of the composure and the Russian composers in terms of intricate plot. One of my colleagues had come to the concert immediately after work, and was obviously more concerned with biting off his fingernails, scratching his stool and looking at the decorations of the concert hall. I suppose that is a way to say "I'd better like to be home than in this concert where I only sit to save face". At least he reacted, though, and left before the bis. I know plenty of people (being blessed with an easy-going social attitude which enables me to gather many stories) who are strangers in their own lives, but fail to notice it, save reacting in a way.

But what does this mean? I've read a short-story by Turgheniev a long time ago. It was about a woman who re-married three times, with three different men, who had different personalities and different jobs. Each time she married, she took on the habits and the personality of that man, and in between marriages (they all died, either in the war or in stupid accidents), she did not know what to do with herself, until she eventually died. It's the same with most modern people. They start off doing a job, or getting involved in a romantic relationship, or do something... And then they forget to stop and evaluate all the good it might bring. They forget about their dreams as teenagers or children and then whine at the end of their lives and try to place the blame on circumstances or people that might have deterred them. Instead of that, they should be looking at the way they themselves have decided to live their lives and spend their hours, days and weeks only to liaison with the past hour, the past day and the past week. They live their lives with short term purposes, and grand plans and dreams mean nothing to them than a child's play. It's much too "idealistic", they say, and do nothing but to regret. What I think is that most of us are on the true road to hell once they stray from their Golden Path.

Speaking of which, latest news: I've finished the 5th book of Dune (The Heretics of Dune), I've seen "Something's Gotta Give" last night and I'm going to another classical concert tonight.

I said 'mama i come to the valley of the rich
Myself to sell'
She said 'son this is the road to hell'
On your journey cross the wilderness
From the desert to the well
You have strayed upon the motorway to hell
(Chris Rea, The Road to Hell)

Raistlin and the Rose

It is dangerous to live somebody else’s dream and forget about your own dreams. You hardly recover unless you know exactly where you want to go and what you want to do with your own life.

Dana dixit :) on returning from the sickness that has had me blackout for the past two weeks. Hello ye all and welcome. The freak show @ Sundance goes on.

Will you hold on to me
I am feeling frail
Will you hold on to me
We will never fail

I wanted to be so perfect you see
I wanted to be so perfect
Like dying in the sun
(The Cranberries, Dying in the Sun)

Not a supergirl

Lately I have been facing quite some stress and constantly got sick. I guess it takes more resistance to be a supergirl, so I am taking a trip to Sibiu for some relief.

It's funny though, had I been following my own advice, I would probably feel better.

And then she'd shout down the line tell me she's got no more time
'cause she's a supergirl, and supergirls don't hide.
And then she'd scream in my face, tell me that leave, leave this place
'cause she's a supergirl, and supergirls just fly
(Reamonn - Supergirl)

We're Damaged People

Working from 9 to 23 and then arriving home in a state of higher perception, where dreams and reality mingle, is an experience I’m having on an unfrequent basis. Do we even notice what is real around us? Do we even care to sever dreams from reality? Sometimes all we can do is just keep trace of what might be real and not let get ourselves be drawn to impossibilities.

A recent Discovery documentary regarding narcolepsy made me draw a mental parallel between those sleepwaking people and the office life, especially before the usual cup of coffee :-). And then again, what can we do besides sleeping? See here for a broader view.

Precious and fragile things

Need special handling
My God what have we done to You?
We always try to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put You through...

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give
(Depeche Mode, Precious)

Short bits because of KIBS :)

Just a short one today:

1. Duran Duran is touring Bucharest on the 19 October and we probably will attend (to make up for Stufstock);
2. My new favourite song: Suede - Everything will flow;
3. According to the Romanian legislation I will probably only be able to get a cheap car by the end of this year or a jeep in ten year's time, as the excises will be adjusted to the EU level for the first car registration.