No more suffering to that truth... :)

"I have heard many stories about parents who have hurt their children so much, planting many seeds of suffering in them. But I believe that the parents did not mean to plant those seeds. They did not intend to make their children suffer. Maybe they received the same kind of seeds from their parents. There is a continuation in the transmission of seeds, and their father and mother might have gotten those seeds from their grandfather and grandmother. Most of us are victims of a kind of living that is not mindful, and the practice of mindful living, of meditation, can stop these kinds of suffering and end the transmission of such sorrow to our children and grandchildren. We can break the cycle by not allowing these kinds of seeds of suffering to be transmitted to our children, our friends, or anyone else."
(Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist author, from 'Peace is Every Step' )

Been doing some writing

By the way, some time ago I wrote an article on Innovation in Romania, which was made public only recently.

Thanks Alex for reminding me :)

I had missed this poem - about love

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Talk to strangers

You’ve probably also been told not to open up or talk to strangers, because they are evil, right? Still, it happens that you sometimes check your own assumptions against those held by strangers. You have an own situation that gives you headaches, you can’t understand it – and at some point, you feel the need of sharing it with someone. Who knows, maybe sharing will help bring out mysterious resolutions we have not thought of, at times our eyes are crying out to hear what we want to filter or maybe all we are looking for is to hear ourselves speak and relieve the pain. It happens that strangers resonate to thoughts in your head, it just happens that they speak out the words you do not allow yourself to.

So do talk to strangers, they also have stories to tell.

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's too late, tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other...
(U2, One)

Everything I know is wrong

One year ago I started a mock experiment – the experiment of being stupid. What I did during the experiment was trying to prove that using less of your brain capacity to think about stuff that seemed unimportant could translate into a happier life. Practice proved me wrong. It is not the thinking that kills us, not even the “unimportant” stuff we are trying to process. Using less than you actual mind capacity does not function either.

While experimenting for a way into a happier life, one that required less thinking and more perceiving, there were some happenings around me that were of definite help. Some will still take time to refine, some could immediately be translated into actions. All in all, the one thing that made me richer this year was that I learned to laugh heartily – at both life and myself. This was the one good side effect of being stupid – you cease taking yourself ever so seriously and start weighing the pleasures of life through other lenses. You start considering your life from the perspective of its impact in other’s people lives. Not necessarily the tags they attach for you inside their heads, but what you mean to them, how you can be of help to them. You start seeing the beauty of nature around, start being interested in the recipe of the cake you are eating at the business meeting, really enjoy the taste of the morning coffee and stop taking it for granted. You start developing others instead of just yourself and start laughing when you see others handling situations with the self-importance you once attributed to yourself. You start seeing the context rather than the individual pieces of the puzzle and you stop obsessing about what you cannot change.

In spite of all these benefits, my basis for considering the experiment a failure is that all this does not necessarily relate to thinking. Quitting thinking was not what led me to those insights, as a negative action does not translate into a positive one. It was probably love that did the trick. Unconditional, constant, foolish and vulnerable love, one that came in unnanounced, unawaited for, while the barriers of too much thinking and analysing were lowered.

The topic is complex and still needs expanding, and over the next posts I will try to write more about it. It’s just such a relief to know that I can finally continue the thinking where I left off, armed with a more powerful weapon than ever before.

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
You really broke my heart
And I tried to sing
But I couldn't think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
(Coldplay, The Hardest Part)

The Theory about The One

You know about the One, I bet on it. He was your best-in-class colleague, envied by all. The little girl with a mysterious smile living next door you wish you’d said Hello to at least once. The Alice who has moved out, your first love, the guy you are into right now, the boy you never could tell you liked, that beauty you kissed on the lips once, in a club, and never met afterwards. That childhood friend who died, your one-night office romance, that brunette in whom you found your match, your chess teacher, a remote relative.

The One is that singular person you feel from the very beginning will play a special role for you. The role of a mentor, of a life’s possibility, of a new path. In time, he or she gradually elates into a product of your projection onto them. They are the kindest, the smartest, the best and most unique you’ve ever met or will again. Their gestures seem, at times, to point the way. You memorize them like an anthem you sing in your own temple for them. Sometimes it does materialize into something real. At times, it doesn’t. For the weak, this means months of pointless wandering, comparing, maybe daydreaming, it is an endless search for what they prevent from ever matching by setting the barrier of perfection. The strong ones just sever it all. Bring all thoughts to an end – quit the “One” just like they would cigarettes, by replacing it with something else. Boast on moving on. Neither ever forget.

You see, I know you. I’ve heard about your story from the others, or maybe you have told me all about your One who makes you smile, whom you once lost, whom you’ve just met, married or are still dreaming of. Just… allow yourself the benefit of reasonable doubt before melting into your imagination. It might save you from yourself.

We say these words again and again
But they still sound the same
It was in your eyes, in your eyes
They were just easy lies

The lightest words are heavy
And promises are easy
And no one's ever happy or sad for very long
But just because I said it
It doesn't mean I meant it
I guess that was the way all along
(Keane, Again&Again)

Autumn day

Herbsttag
Rainer Maria Rilke

Herr: es ist Zeit. Der Sommer war sehr groß.
Leg deinen Schatten auf die Sonnenuhren,
und auf den Fluren laß die Winde los.
Befiel den letzten Früchten voll zu sein;
gib ihnen noch zwei südlichere Tage,
dränge sie zur Vollendung hin und jage
die letzte Süße in den schweren Wein.

Wer jetzt kein Haus hat, baut sich keines mehr.
Wer jetzt allein ist, wird Es lange bleiben,
wird wachen, lesen, lange Briefe schreiben
und wird in den Alleen hin und her
unruhig wandern, wenn die Blätter treiben.

Best to keep quiet, when the leaves are falling in the alleys. In order to hear something else than your own thoughts.