The complicated me you cannot see

We do not like people who pull long faces. We like to be around others who seem to be healthy, nice, funny and a pleasure to be with. Because we cannot remember jokes, we like other people to tell jokes – or to say funny remarks and make us all feel good. Whenever somebody starts telling us about his / her troubles, we prefer to stay put and appear indifferent, although there are many things that we have experienced and we could be talking about, but we feel it is better not to say anything about it, in order not to upset the others.

Some days ago I felt quite under the weather and consequently was not exactly fun to be around, as I spat some fire and had a very gloomy look. A colleague with the unfortunate luck of being around me felt some undeserved sparks and got me out for a cup of tea. People do not have time to see beneath your surface on a bad day, he said. They will only absorb the joy of you, if you feel like beaming it on them, and will subtract the times you are in a bad mood. The result will be your desirability in their eyes. But then, I retorted, do we not run into the risk of never getting to know anybody as he or she really is? And he then looked at me smiling and said, that only matters for very few. For the rest of the world, the analysis of the other is not an option any more.

If he were a color
He'd be a deep dark forest green
If he were a car
He'd be a long stretch limousine
With room for all of humanity inside
Cause he is so giving
And he is so wise
If he were a number
He'd be a five cause he has such a brilliant mind
If were an animal
He's be an ass cause he's so stubborn sometimes
(India.Arie, Complicated Melody)