Do people deserve second chances?

Think about how many times a day you are forgiving yourself. Is it once, twice, every time you screw up? Sometimes you hear that little voice inside your head saying "be less mean" or "don't eat all that chocolate" or "don't allow yourself to be late any more", but you quickly forget and find an excuse for why you did it this time.

When it comes to others, you think before you forgive, or before considering a second chance. Then, after you allow that person back into your life and are again disappointed, you tend to be grudgy and bury the relationship under doubt. When you do, it is with an inner anger that will not go away unless you manage to appease it. It is hard to give second chances, because you fear being hurt again and again, and because you don't see a point in spending time with people who are not worth it.

My experiences with second chances were sometimes good (that is to say, tha glass is half full :)). They were disappointing in the sense of a diminished feeling of affiliation. Also, there were times when I regretted giving the first chance at all.

Why and how we decide to give second chances (or third, or fourth.. ) is a decision each one of us makes, at some point, for different reasons. We may love, or hate, or have been hurt a little, or maybe a lot, but how we respond to this that really matters. To choose between responding with evil to disappointment, or integrating it into our lives and learning to move on, is difficult. It takes emotional education and strength, and there is no standard recipe as to what will work.

Walking back to you
Is the hardest thing that I can do
That I can do for you
For you
(The Jesus and Mary Chain, Just Like Honey)