Only for one

I'm thinking about going to the Leonard Cohen concert in Bucharest with some friends. Should be in three weeks' time or so. We haven't yet decided, as some part of us still craves for doing things in a student manner. Unplanned, that is :)

The funny thing is I'm even thinking to go to this concert, as I'm not really a fan of Mr Cohen. During my university years, we used to sometimes listen to him in the evenings, and his deep voice used to trouble me and failed to lead me to sleep. Even now, there is only a limited number of songs of his which I enjoy to hear - and this poem, which seems a bit cynical to me. Maybe just a matter of interpretation on my side :))

Fear is for the weak

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
(Frank Herbert, Dune)

Wenn man auf keinen anderen verwiesen ist als sich selber scheint anfangs alles schwerer als es wirklich ist. Nachdem man sich jahrelang selber auf die Beine halten musste, alleine allen trotzend, wird es eh viel schwieriger, das Leben mit anderen zu teilen. Allein nur ist aber keine richtige Lösung.

Caring is sharing is doing

Diving in deep into life, photography and all the things we love and enjoy falls easy – and always depends on how much we care about stuff. When I meet someone for dinner or coffee, it’s because I usually care enough about the respective person as to spend some pleasant moments in their company. If I don’t care, it’s quite obvious I won’t be driving for 150km just to see them, or join them for some fancy cooking night.

There is no negative message I want to convey – as always, our choices lead the path and get us where we are. Sometimes we are eager to challenge the others’ choices, and to criticize them. More often than never, it is because we do not understand them. Does the famous line “Is this how much you care about me?” ring a bell? Well, then you know the answer. It’s always “yes”.

Me va, me va, me va, me va, me va
Hacer amigos, andar caminos, me va, me va
Soar contigo y haber nacido para cantar,
Me va el amor de verdad.
(Julio Iglesias, Me Va, Me Va)

On returning from the holidays...

Writing again comes a bit uneasy, as there is so much that could be the subject of explorational musings. Some of it might be of no interest to anybody else but myself. But as I have learned until now, you can never do stuff just for yourself. Sometimes you write so that the voices inside be finally fixed somewhere, some other times just to make a point, or just to see how the words you are thinking form into a poem right in front of you :)


Anyway, I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided to keep the blog. Seems that I’m not writing for the walls and the toys and the joys, there really are some people out there reading it (thanks guys!). Since I’m not exactly an e-mail communication techie, writing here will just be an easier way to let you all know how things are going.

Welcome back to the freakshow @Sundance!

Help me when I fall to
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold my love or leave me high.
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold my love or leave me high.
(R.E.M., Walk Unafraid)

Deciding what to do with the blog

I just need a way to figure out how to make it useful to others - as is was useful to me. In sharing my thoughts and states of mind with you, I got richer on the inside. And as I think that nothing comes for granted and that one's legacy consists of the things we leave in others - I will try to put in more useful information than gather my thoughts. That we could do together over coffee :-) so feel free to say hello whenever you are in town.

Anyway, as I feel it, a period of my life has ended - it was a nice period and I thoroughly enjoyed every part of it (well maybe the unpleasant aspects less but you know how it is :D...)

I don't know what this is
but you got me good
just like you knew you would

I don't know what you do
but you do it well
I'm under your spell
(Duffy, Mercy)

We have reached a meaning

I’ve written before about things you cannot say – nor otherwise express. We cannot say what we mean unless we do it and sometimes it is better to keep some things untouched by words unless we mean them.

Slowly, the Sundance Kiddo Blog has reached its initial purpose – to bail me out of a world I had gotten into by accident. It has done so over the past two years – helped me to clarify my thoughts and make sense of a world I had thought of bigger than my grasp. Some of the happenings I’ve written about here are so dissolved into words, that sometimes I cannot remember what shelf to put them on, or what they were really referring to in the real world.

It was a good journey.

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
(Leona Lewis, Bleeding Love)

Flying to Maramures

This evening I am flying towards the north of the country. Hopefully the weather will be fine.

Take me and break me and close all your windows and doors.

Shut me off, cut me off, make me an island, I'm yours.

Take me away from the world, take me away from the girls.

Take me and break me and make me an island, I'm yours

(Joe Dolan, Make me an island)