Careful with a fragile heart

There are people around me – also ones whoI love and admire – who display a lot of aggression, in different contexts. Sometimes they are corrosively witty about themselves, and apply that extra lot of self-irony in telling stories that makes you wonder if they really feel anything when telling the stories. Some others are harsh in answering simple questions, that somehow threaten their self-esteem, or simply catch them offhand in unpleasant situations. There is a certain category who are brisk when discussing with people they don't like – be it that they really have no consideration for the person in front of them or because she / he has unnerved them; another reason may be personal circumstances which generate anger they cannot control.

I've often asked myself how to handle these people. An approach which works well is to just relax and try to joke about the nasty retortions, and not take them seriously. Getting also mad and reacting violently will not help, unless you can shout louder :) What I am concerned about is what lies behind the unpleasant words they say, behind the apparent domination these linguistic aggressors seem to seek. Is it their own anger and hate they throw on others? Or simply a need to express something else?

Well you said you wished you knew me
You can't have everything
For I knew I wouldn't know you
But I got under your skin
(Texas, Under Your Skin)