Girls who beat up the boys

Ok, I am not sure about you guys, but I am so fed up with the image of the overpowering, men-beating, "don't look at me because I'm beautiful, look at me 'cause I'm smart" woman! I mean, come on - most of us have got the message. Equality, brotherhood and cooperation are on, but the proof of that is not in women behaving like men and overtrumping the latter in the spirit of retaliation and of proving the equality of sexes. Most movies and series I have been watching lately seem to be filled with single moms, girls who beat guys up and power-hungry ladies. I wish they were more subtle. I wish they did not lose their feminine side.

Later edit: Others are also concerned with the topic. Good.

Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles thats what you do
(Rod Stewart, Have I Told You Lately)

A long time ago I got an ace of hearts

In the past few days I've been watching the series "Californication". The star of the show is David Duchovny, a female-addicted-dunno-where-to head-my life-to uninspired writer who struggles between his own fantasies and a boheme LA existence. At some point, he disappoints his 12-year daughter (again), so she tells him “You know, you can expect a lot from people. And if they consistently let you down, then the best you can tell them is Fuck you.”

This also goes for all the rest of the people who disappoint us. Consistently and knowingly.

You said that love was just a state of mind
A puzzle made of pieces you can't find
And for me you never really had the time
I was blind.
(A1, Caught in the Middle)

There is no Briony

We declared Friday night a movies' night and I finally saw Atonement, one of the Oscar-nominated motion pictures this year. It was nominated in seven categories, including Best Picture. Probably it will also win some – my movie sniffing nose has never been precise in knowing who will win and who won't.

Anyway, as we saw the film at nearly 3AM, there is little of the dialogues I do remember, and probably they weren't even meant to be that interesting, as the cinematography was absolutely dazzling. This is a classic movie, with classic pictures and some annoyingly good scenes, set in a rich mansion of the 1930s England, some time before the war began. The love story (yes, there is one) unravels quite suddenly but is predictable, except for the double perspective, which is not something you necessarily expect; the watchers are shown what really happens and also how the scenes are seen by a 13-year old Briony, the main female character's sister. Not having yet outgrown the innocence of her age and thus only understanding half-truths of her sister's love story, she tells a lie which changes lives and gives life to a book she will analyse years later.

With the epic storyline, you would expect some more intricacy on character level – but they don't become very complex, although well played. It's the usual He (James McAvoy, really cool) in love with Her (Keira Knightley, at her most beautiful), not knowing if he will return from the war safely to marry and love her, and it's the She who only shines in the pre-war moments (the rest is a combination of “Come back to me” mantras and arrow-looks pointed at the younger sister). What “Atonement” does, however, is to erase the thin line between what is real and what can be imagined as being real in love. Briony is trying to find atonement for her childhood lie by restoring what should have been real, the life that should have been lived. The end of the story gives little encouragement, though. You start wondering if there was a point – at all, and if a few moments of bliss could justify the suffering. In Cold Mountain, for example, there was a sort of an ending, because both character's travels were directed to the future, to the hope that they would see one another again. In Atonement, all you can ask yourself is if forgiveness should be granted to the story – or to the deceiver.

Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby
Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting
Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less
(Madonna, Do you know what it feels like for a girl)

Hey Eugene, stop worrying!

Flashes of light like the Pink Martini concert in Bucharest last Saturday make up for even the longest nights staying awake to work. The silence as the ensemble were performing classical music, molten with South American or Japanese music (“Taya Tan” was unbelievable!), all sounding so European, so continental, made me love the “Portland, Oregon” band even more. It was not only the music that thrilled me, but also the atmosphere – they were there to entertain, and we all could feel that. They sang with such passion and longing, that the music touched us all and made us feel warm inside.

My thought for the evening was that, if we all would be as passionate about what we do as Pink Martini about what they are singing, perhaps the world would really change starting with us.

PS: I saw Dr Strangelove yesterday. Must see for crazy people who like odd comedy movies.

Hey Eugene do you remember me?

Im that chick you danced with two times through the Roofers album Friday night at that party

(Pink Martini, Hey Eugene)

There's no rule that says you have to wake up. Fishism

Complicated things make life more complicated than it is, bring a lot of pain and headache. So I usually try to keep stuff as simple as possible - both in my professional and personal life. That is not to express avoidance about more complex situations - they can also be split down in more simple ones. Remember how you eat an elephant? By pieces.

This morning I was reminded of Ally, the famous emotionally wrecked lawyer of my highschool years:

Ally McBeal: I like being a mess. It's who I am.

Renée Radick: Emotionally, you're an idiot.

Georgia Thomas: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally McBeal: They're mine.

Ally McBeal: Maybe I'm happy and I just don't know it.

Ally McBeal: Maybe I'll share my life with somebody... maybe not. But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.

Ally McBeal: There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now
(Vonda Shepard, Vincent (Starry Starry Night))

Didn't we almost have it all?

Tell me what you are yearning for. Is it life, is it your job, your family, friends... ? Is it your dog? Does it make you happy, to yearn for them? It should be, as these are all things you can have, that you can touch. You can be them every day. And yet, most of us do not crave what we already have - though it would be the most logical solution, wouldn't it? Yeah, sure, wanting what we cannot get has become such a cliché that writing about it has become tasteless. I was wondering, however, about what someone told me in a meaningless conversation today: that simply talking to me was his bliss. Nothing more was required. Although I did not reciprocate, I admired him for wanting what he had got – be it the nothing it seemed to me.

So I remembered countless times when moments containing essences seemed to elude me. Our mistake must be not that we do not see these moments – they are too many to be ignored – but that we choose to think it can become better and better. We yearn for what we cannot touch not because it would be better than what we have, but because it isn't there, and because we choose to occupy our thoughts with how it would be, instead of how it is. One other proof that we live sequentially and forget to absorb the beauty of life at the exact moment we have it.

Watch “Closer” for more details regarding want and lust... and loss.

Common sense, movies and owning an iPod

Sometime in the past days I read an article which also involved a definition for common sense. It was "the ability to correctly perceive the reality around you". To most people in Romania today, this is a skill that needs no cultivation, given its little perceived value. Common sense is more to me than just to perceive the relationships around me correctly and acting accordingly. Or plainly politely responding to my counterparts' gestures or words. It is a state of mind that spells purity and understanding. I engage in conversations with people with openness, never setting a definite expectation. My nature is rather sponge-like, meaning that I often remember the most fine details about persons and situation. However, I try never to use negative aspects of my relationship with that person in conversing or dealing with them. It would be an extra burden to carry aroud and it would result in a flawed idea exchange, whereas this is not my intention. Instead, I prefer having them talk about subjects they like and pick on past conversations to make them feel comfortable. Similarly, I try to avoid unnatural gestures or attitudes.

The interpretation of common sense is of course subject to every personality flavour. However, it would be great if more people would start practicing it, making the surroundings - be it at the office or in a cafe, with friends, much more pleasurable.

Speaking of which, I might be the last on Earth to have seen Love Actually, a romantic Christmas comedy which can help enlighten one evening. I have enjoyed myself very much - the music was lovely and entertaining (Hugh Grant as a Prime Minister dancing to "Jump!" makes you laugh tons). Highly recommendable for a hot chocolate night with your sweetheart.

Tonight my friends and I are going to the last Mel Gibson film - Apocalypto. Given Mel Gibson's appetite for raw flesh, blood and cruelty, I think I'll be better off having a drink before.

Owning an iPod is my last subject for today. A colleague told be last week that my appetite for new technology is rather scary and that I am lost for the "normal world" (what is normal anyway?). The most fantastic feature I am experiencing are the podcasts, of which I would mention Stanford's literature lectures and most management podcasts you can find online (David Maister, The Invisible Hand etc).

Cheers!