It'll work itself out fine

It just sometimes happens that we fail. Miserably. We let ourselves, as well as others, down. We do not fulfil our expectations for ourselves, nor do we fulfil others’ expectations for us. (A small digression needs to be made here: most young people today will jump up roaring “I don’t care about others, it’s myself I need to please and nobody else!”. Later on they still get the idea – that we live in a world that is interconnected. It is so, whether we like it or not, and every little thing we do has an echo in someone else's life. In my experience, the better idea is not to ignore this dependency.) Most of us know when we are back to square one, and in our minds initially accept it – not gladly but hey, at least we know where we stand, deep inside.
What differs is the way we choose to treat failure. We weather the storm in different ways - some of us fight, others defend themselves and search for justifications, a decent number ignore it altogether... I have seen but few people who really tried to understand the essence of their failure: what it was that led them to the dead point, where the mistakes were made, how they could find a way out. Out of these people, only the rarest chose to make the failure a part of them, not rejecting it, and moving on with the experience on board. Indeed, you need emotional strength to do this, acceptance and a certain kind of humility. It’s not easy and it is not always uplifting. What I admire most about these people is not that they rise from the ashes, we humans have done this since the beginning of life... it is the way they do it that is amazing. Besides getting themselves out of the hole, they help others out, as well. They internalise their failure, mishaps, drag-downs and re-shape them – and when you meet them, they don’t complain or overly describe their failure – but say and do things in such a way that you feel encouraged and at times - a better person.

Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(Guns'N'Roses, Patience)

Fantasie Impromptu

This morning I left home willing to let the bit of tan I got this summer glow… and outside it was cold, all of a sudden.

After coming out of the subway, it was all gone, like an impression. It was warm again. A bit of cold remained with me, still.

Summer moved on thus, leaving nothing but some warmth and lots of distance. Just like last year.

Prague: Black Light Theatre

There is a lot to be told about my Prague escape this summer, but I would like to start with the part that did not get photographed: the Black Light Theatre performance. I went to "Aspects of Alice" and liked it very much. Apart from the classical music concerts taking place at every noon and in the evenings in the Golden City, the Black Light Theatre is a particularly special form of art you will definitely enjoy. It involves a world of dreams mingled with a real world, cartoons and people moving onstage with the same easiness you would picture in a movie. Only it is real, and happening in front of your own eyes.



Cameras are forbidden, still I found this little movie on the Internet. Enjoy - and go there if you are in Prague!

Only for one

I'm thinking about going to the Leonard Cohen concert in Bucharest with some friends. Should be in three weeks' time or so. We haven't yet decided, as some part of us still craves for doing things in a student manner. Unplanned, that is :)

The funny thing is I'm even thinking to go to this concert, as I'm not really a fan of Mr Cohen. During my university years, we used to sometimes listen to him in the evenings, and his deep voice used to trouble me and failed to lead me to sleep. Even now, there is only a limited number of songs of his which I enjoy to hear - and this poem, which seems a bit cynical to me. Maybe just a matter of interpretation on my side :))

Fear is for the weak

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
(Frank Herbert, Dune)

Wenn man auf keinen anderen verwiesen ist als sich selber scheint anfangs alles schwerer als es wirklich ist. Nachdem man sich jahrelang selber auf die Beine halten musste, alleine allen trotzend, wird es eh viel schwieriger, das Leben mit anderen zu teilen. Allein nur ist aber keine richtige Lösung.

Caring is sharing is doing

Diving in deep into life, photography and all the things we love and enjoy falls easy – and always depends on how much we care about stuff. When I meet someone for dinner or coffee, it’s because I usually care enough about the respective person as to spend some pleasant moments in their company. If I don’t care, it’s quite obvious I won’t be driving for 150km just to see them, or join them for some fancy cooking night.

There is no negative message I want to convey – as always, our choices lead the path and get us where we are. Sometimes we are eager to challenge the others’ choices, and to criticize them. More often than never, it is because we do not understand them. Does the famous line “Is this how much you care about me?” ring a bell? Well, then you know the answer. It’s always “yes”.

Me va, me va, me va, me va, me va
Hacer amigos, andar caminos, me va, me va
Soar contigo y haber nacido para cantar,
Me va el amor de verdad.
(Julio Iglesias, Me Va, Me Va)

On returning from the holidays...

Writing again comes a bit uneasy, as there is so much that could be the subject of explorational musings. Some of it might be of no interest to anybody else but myself. But as I have learned until now, you can never do stuff just for yourself. Sometimes you write so that the voices inside be finally fixed somewhere, some other times just to make a point, or just to see how the words you are thinking form into a poem right in front of you :)


Anyway, I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided to keep the blog. Seems that I’m not writing for the walls and the toys and the joys, there really are some people out there reading it (thanks guys!). Since I’m not exactly an e-mail communication techie, writing here will just be an easier way to let you all know how things are going.

Welcome back to the freakshow @Sundance!

Help me when I fall to
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold my love or leave me high.
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold my love or leave me high.
(R.E.M., Walk Unafraid)