What do I fear most?

More often than never, we fear stuff will happen that will affect us. We spend loads of time thinking about all possible ways to avoid the negative consequences we derive from what will happen – at times I imagine I see the movie of evil unwinding before my eyes so vividly as if it were the reality. I think I know where it ends, and even if some of the consequences were self-assumed, accepted as being inevitable and thought of, time and time again, there is hope I conceal, hope that they can and will be avoided... As it is with an illness that repeats itself cyclically, I fear departure as if it were a personal ending – and not a temporary one, that permits recommencing on solid basis again and again. For endings are definitive after certain times. No matter how much we want to trick ourselves into believing something else, there are events and periods in our lives which end, and never can be revived again the way they were. So there you go – I fear the end.

Turn the lights on the night is too long
Keep yourself warm I'm coming home
I cannot help you, you yourself must see
Decide now on what you want to be
(A-ha, Turn the Lights Down)