Killer tale with three subways

How much of a total nerd must you be to miss the right subway, take the next, have it get you to the wrong station and needing to further switch subways, get to the railway station exactly on time to miss the person you actually shouldn't be expecting and then seeing them again in the subway, on the way home? And most especially, how can you explain the entire mess without making it seem like a fable?

The things I don't plan come out as if I had planned them a long time and the things I do plan go completely amok. There must be something I'm doing right.

Show a little faith there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me
(Bruce Springsteen, Thunder Road)

Despre cum e sa te arunci in apa rece

Uneori fac lucruri traznite. Gandesc fara pic de instinct de conservare. Fac lucruri despre care imi e clar de la bun inceput ca nu duc nicaieri, ca sunt doar faze care incep si se termina fara limite. Merg inainte si ma arunc in apa, desi stiu ca ar putea sa fie putin adanca (aflu mai apoi ca e foarte rece). Sau ies afara in haine subtiri, stiind ca e frig, doar de dragul de a purta bluza “aceea” sau de a simti vantul prin par. Sau dansez prin ploaia calduta de vara dupa ce am calcat intr-o balta – la ce bun sa mai tin umbrela deasupra capului?

Poate ca nu e cea mai buna cale, poate ca asa risti ca toate consecintele negative sa ti se sparga in cap. Ma gandesc uneori ca multe din lucrurile care mi s-au intamplat in viata faceau parte dintr-un risc pe care mi-l asumasem. Stiam ca s-ar putea intampla ceva, si dincolo de nepasare sau inconstienta exista o curiozitate a senzatiei de care nu am reusit sa scap niciodata. Pana la urma, nu ne traim vietile doar anticipand finaluri. Cateodata, inveti sa dansezi dansand, si incepi sa inveti culorile pictand.

Asa ca… de ce sa imi pese ca voi pierde, daca in acelasi timp am sansa de a castiga totul? De ce sa imi para rau ca am zburat cu aripi de ceara, daca am vazut soarele atat de aproape? De ce sa nu incerc, in loc sa imi imaginez cum ar fi fost?

Dupa ultimele rapoarte venite de la cer, se pare ca avem totusi doar o viata :-)

You gotta have a dream
If you don’t have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?
(Ella Fitzgerald, Happy Talk)

Taping, measuring, evaluating

And by the way I loved the following post from Ancuta: http://nareda.blogspot.com/2008/03/you-can-always-sell-any-dream-to-me.html

Could it be that things are really that simple? That you measure out the other's life, only to see if it fits into yours. That you employ measurments of words, of coffee spoons and of looks to quantify to what extent we care. That you always take into consideration all accounts, and calculate and ellaborate - and finally reach an economically sized business decision on whether or not people fit in.

I think somebody's playing tricks on us :)

What do I fear most?

More often than never, we fear stuff will happen that will affect us. We spend loads of time thinking about all possible ways to avoid the negative consequences we derive from what will happen – at times I imagine I see the movie of evil unwinding before my eyes so vividly as if it were the reality. I think I know where it ends, and even if some of the consequences were self-assumed, accepted as being inevitable and thought of, time and time again, there is hope I conceal, hope that they can and will be avoided... As it is with an illness that repeats itself cyclically, I fear departure as if it were a personal ending – and not a temporary one, that permits recommencing on solid basis again and again. For endings are definitive after certain times. No matter how much we want to trick ourselves into believing something else, there are events and periods in our lives which end, and never can be revived again the way they were. So there you go – I fear the end.

Turn the lights on the night is too long
Keep yourself warm I'm coming home
I cannot help you, you yourself must see
Decide now on what you want to be
(A-ha, Turn the Lights Down)

I am what I try to deny

There was an exercise I once did with some friends: we each danced our life's story on a randomly chosen melody. A solemn show for some, a comedy for the other. No dancing marvels performed, just some moulding in a foreign rhyhtm. The movements were flowing naturally, with some very brisk turnarounds at some points and at times difficult to understand. In each life there were things we could only imagine - some of us danced of lost loves, others of things we had experienced together. But not one of them danced of work. None of despair or of death. It was all the wonderful things in life that they imagined when moving to the sounds, the good they could do and the hope they held. And most of them were smiling while dancing.

This weekend I re-edited the exercise, while dancing to Gotan Project's La Viguela.

aquí me tumbo a cantar
al compás de la vigüela
que al hombre que lo desvela
una pena extraordinaria
como el ave solitaria
con el cantar se consuela

Clarke, Minghella die

Two days ago, two grand masters passed into another odyssey: Arthur C Clarke and Anthony Minghella.

The first one had me amazed at all the wondrous worlds he dreamt of, the second kept me weeping while watching The English Patient.

May they be joined by fellow souls.

Faith for reasons still unknown
Like bleak house fog seems everywhere
The truth has frozen into stone
And hope lies freezing in the midnight air
Though dark our days may seem
This is a different dream
Their freedom light dont shine at all
(Chris Rea, Candles)

New soul, making every possible mistake

Song lyrics | New Soul lyrics